I reached the age of seventeen and the harshness of life increased.
When I turned seventeen I wished I could turn back time ????.
I didn’t know that this life would still be so rough.
I did not know that I would fight an evil spirit.
I didn’t know that this age would try to change me.
This age made me face realities of life ????.
It made me challenging for my mother and brothers sometimes.
It made me funny to my mom and siblings sometimes ????.
The age of seventeen placed me in a battle between pain and joy.
I was very confused that day while I was celebrating with my mom and siblings.
That day was very beautiful because I lived it with my mother and my siblings ????.
???? But I had a bad demon inside trying to change me.
A demon trying to be cruel.
To be indifferent.
To be unhappy.
To not take my decisions seriously.
That day was a huge challenge for me.
I lived a whole week of tension and fatigue ????.
I had very difficult nights.
I stayed up at night thinking a lot.
I struggled at night to figure out what I wanted.
???? Should decisions at this age be so strong and important?
Sometimes I do things I don’t want to do ????.
Sometimes I make a decision and I want to stick to it.
But I can’t do it sometimes when it should be easy for me, but I don’t know why ????.
I could not find a solution at that time.
I did not know where to start to find the answer.
I didn’t know which way to go.
Whenever I found a path, I felt it to be dark.
????Whenever I walked on a path, I found pitfalls that prevented me from advancing.
Whenever I walked on the road, I found no one around me.
I thought a lot: Is this problem mine alone? Or has this happened with everyone who has reached the age of seventeen?
I went home and sat alone ????♂️.
I started thinking from the beginning.
I started to draw a plan for my life, for my goals.
Set a date to accomplish everything I want.
The first was to think again about the people who care about me.
I went back in my memory a lot.
The first of them was my father who died ????.
???? My mother who raised me.
My brother Qusay ???? who helped me and supported me.
My sister Hiba, who was helping me in my studies ????.
???? My little brother Karam, who looks like me and seems so much like me, who used to play with me.
My little sister, Batoul, who was the wonderful little doll that made me feel happy whenever I looked at her ????.
My friend and brother Param who was my shadow in my life ????????♂️.
My friend and sister, Nora, who was always by my side ????????⚖️.
????My friend and second mom Rafael who was guiding me.
I thought a lot and found that I have many friends who care about me.
Then the feeling of sadness changed to joy.
Then the feeling of despair changed into hope.
Then the feeling of hate changed to love ????.
Then the feeling of laziness changed to work.
???? Then the feeling of crying changed to laughter.
Then the feeling of frustration changed to success.
That night I was very happy that I found the key to the age of seventeen.
The key to success and action.
The key to love and hope ❣️????.
The key to joy and laughter.
I slept happily that night after thinking so hard and finding the answer.
And I woke up the next morning to start working ???? ????️.